Why does it see that some people become more spiritual or a stronger christian after they go through a painful or life changing ordeal. I thought about this from my own experience and my own spiritual journey. I was feeling embarrassed and like I was a disappointment to God. I felt like a FABRICATED Christian.
God showed me that he’s been waiting on this growth in me for a while. He reminded me of a couple of years ago when I had gotten laid off from my job and had a hard time finding work. It seemed like the harder I tried to find a job the more difficult it became.
I didn’t want to get depressed, not realizing that I already was, so I found ways to keep busy. I started getting up every morning praying, meditating and having devotion with God. I began to notice I was at peace with being unemployed.
I also started family prayer time. I even set up a conference call phone number where our family members in Jackson Tn and Atlanta Ga could call in. We all would have prayer on the phone together and everyone loved it for a while. I was very excited and positive about the direction life was headed in.
I remember trying to share my excitement with my ex husband and my kids but they didn’t seem to be too interested. My sister and I sometimes would have devotion together but even that played out. I felt I didn’t have support back then so I stopped being consistent as if I needed them for me to have a relationship with God.
When I asked myself the question, “Why did I”. I was feeling bad that it took pain at this point for me to see/seek God. I felt like a hypocrite. God didn’t wait for me to ask, he told me it wasn’t my time. He showed me I was not in the right place and my spiritual journey had not taken place. My pain was already ordained to be sanctified for his glory. He also showed me I had too many distractions to really focus on him like I needed to.
I’m always a work in progress, ever learning and ever growing. God showed me that sometimes when you’re lost, it takes life for you to begin to find your way to him and there’s nothing fabricated about that. What you experience and learn, he uses for you to help others and that is what his glory is all about.
A BRAND NEW KIND OF ME