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A rainbow is a meteorological phenomenon that is caused by reflection, refraction and dispersion of light in water droplets resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky. It takes the form of a multicoloured circular arc. Rainbows caused by sunlight always appear in the section of sky directly opposite the sun.

A rainbow is also considered a type of personality for some people.  People with a rainbow colour personality tend to be positive, creative and joyful.  They can easily access their inner child.   They can be fun to be around, cheerful and encouraging.

My Rainbow, is far less complicated but just as natural.  As a matter of fact my Rainbow may be even more natural, it’s a gift from God.   My Rainbow was sent during a season in my life when things were dark, not very clear and my outlook was grimm.  My rainbow is my daughter, she was positivity when there was negativity, light when there was darkness and joy when there was grimm.

I was struggling with the questions of why am I here, what is my purpose, what can I do with my life, who needs me?  Many things weighed heavy on me it left me lost, empty. and confused.  I fell head over heels in love thinking I had met the man of my dreams only to discover I wasn’t the woman of his.  My daughter was born from the relationship but I had no I idea she would become one of the greatest purposes in life I could ever fathom.

Because of the place I was in my life mentally, I started having very negative thoughts towards the baby.  I wasn’t eating properly, I wasn’t taking care of myself and I was very sad all the time.  My supervisor at that time came to me one day and told me she was disappointed in me, she told me she expected more from me and went on to say so much more.  She explained that from what she knew of me, against all odds, I had never given up except this time.

When she finished talking, I began to feel ashamed, embarrassed and the tears started to flow.  I realized the things she said were true, I had given up simply because I was pregnant and the father wasn’t around.  Once I started showing, I didn’t even want to go out in public, I didn’t want to be seen.

Later that day when I got home, my sister was already home, she could tell something was bothering me.  Every since I told her I was pregnant, she watched me because of morning sickness and lack of eating.  She was so she was excited and she was determined to be involved and be there for me so I wouldn’t feel alone.

When I told my sister what happened at work.  She quietly got a face towel and wiped my face.  She sat down beside and took my hand, she was very calm when she spoke.  The last  thing I remember her saying, “sissy you are looking at this pregnancy wrong”, “I grew up feeling like I was a mistake because of things our family said, but God doesn’t make mistakes”.  “Your baby is a gift and you are not alone, you will have help raising this baby, I will always be there with both of you”.

“Heck if you don’t want the baby, I do, give me the baby, Lol”.  “I giggled in between the tears”.  She made me feel so much better.  She gave me a big hug, “now come on, let’s go eat and feed my baby”.  I got up and for the 1st time, I ate a full meal at one time, I even kept the food down.  I felt the light on my face, the sun on my skin.  I felt vibrant and alive, colorful, like a rainbow.

That day I started changing the way I was thinking, trying not to be negative.  In the days ahead I started thinking of the future for me and my baby.  My baby would always be with me, I would always love my baby and my baby would always love me.  I then started thinking God sent me someone to love me and that’s how I began to cope with my pregnancy

I got excited and went shopping with my sister to purchase a few things for my baby.  By now I knew I was having a girl so the excitement grew.   I did research on things a baby would need and picked out pretty little girl items.  By the time I was in my 8th month I had just about purchased everything my baby would need.

I had planned to purchase the remaining items on my list  but my supervisor had a fit when she found out.  She told me about the baby shower they were planning for me.  The concern was there wouldn’t be much on the baby registry if I kept purchasing everything myself.   I explained to her that I didn’t know and I just w trying to make sure my baby had everything she needed.  Honestly, I hadn’t even thought about that.  I was just thinking of being prepared and making sure my daughter was prepared.

The day my daughter was born, I was nervous, scared and excited.   Things seemed grimm at 1st but God added color to my life on that day.  That day,  he sent me an angel, someone for me to love and someone to love me.  That day God sent me a rainbow.

My Rainbow, she is full of color as she is full of life.  She represents all the colors of the rainbow with her personality and she has kept me going over the years bringing a pot of gold into my life.  I thank God for her, not just for giving her to me to watch over but for making her My Rainbow.

A BRAND NEW KIND OF ME