Spiritual Highway(Mile Marker 2)
I came to an abrupt stop and made a U turn! In July of 2018 my father and I whom had been living with us at the time to get back on his feet moved into an apt. It became clearer to me that I had been on the wrong hwy, headed in the wrong direction for years. I began to see that there were issues w/the navigation system I was using and the map I had. The directions were VERY misleading, and I found it hard to figure out which way to go. But prayer changes things and I was now starting to see how lost I really had been.
My ex husband started calling consistently and trying to befriend me. I tried avoiding his calls for self healing but the truth is I still loved him. I started answering his calls and just talking to him, some days it was hard when I had flash backs. He told me in Oct how much he missed me, loved me and had made a mistake. Eventually he asked me to give him another chance. I did of course because I loved him and was trying to do what I though Jesus wanted me to do.
Now during the drama one day, on the same day, he lost his job and an antique car that he loved more than anything, the garage door at the house that he basically ran me out of, fell on the car he had bought for me. He texted me upset talking like life for him was ending and to his side I ran. I even had to get my dad to help him raise the garage door so I could move the car. This same car he bought for me, got repossessed while I was driving it, the note was behind and he was hiding it. Now the house that we had together he had to give it up and move out. I offered for him to move in with us as I felt he didn’t have very many options as to where he could go and I felt obligated. I was relieved that he originally said no but he changed his mind and moved in by the end of Oct.
Can ya’ll believe that I still was confused about the direction I was supposed to be headed in. Since he had moved in I had started getting lost again, couldn’t really tell what the map was saying, the navigation system seemed to be off, I went from hwy 19:1:1-3(psalm 1:1-3) Lord do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Have mercy on me Lord for I am faint; heal me Lord, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in deep anguish. How long Lord, how long and hwy 19:6:9(which is the book of psalm 6:9)(The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer) and then I made a left turn instead of a RIGHT turn back onto Sinners Hwy
The relationship between my ex husband and I became strained and On Feb 2nd everything completely changed when My ex-husband came to the apt. He he did not speak when he came in but went straight to the shower. I felt a spirit instantly come over me and I went and found the cell phone that I had given him for Christmas. It was hidden in his jacket pocket.
Once again, I was shattered and broken as I read the text messages between him and another woman. My vehicle took a pretty bad hit as I skidded out of control. They were in love, had been intimate with one another and he had asked her to marry him. My vehicle finally stopped spinning and I found myself sitting on the side of the rode with no light poles around. It was dark, my vision was a blur and my mind was real foggy, I didn’t know what to think or how to feel. I put my ex-husband out on the spot, I couldn’t take anymore. I told him what I thought about him and how I felt, I was speaking from a hurt/ANGRY place.
The cell phone was still on, I didn’t think to turn it off when I had asked him to leave. She(his FIANCE’) called, she was programmed in the phone as baby. I answered it subjecting myself to more road hazards and more pain. They had been dating since Nov and he had told her he was living with his sister. Yet he had just told me that the relationship had just started. Of course, fact; the night he went out to a party he was with her; Fact he had stayed out all night another night and had spent the night with her; fact he only had 2 numbers programmed in the phone I gave him and neither one of them was mine!
A Brand New Kind Of Me