My family had to express their disappointments in me for getting pregnant. I didn’t have very much support at home in the beginning. My mom didn’t talk to me for a week, my brother told me he was mad at me and had nothing else to say. My dad was over seas and only talked to me long enough to let me know how upset and disappointed he was. My grandmother, sisters and my aunt whom fed me every Sunday and my best friend were the only ones that were by my side. Everyone else slowly but finally came around.
I had to take a maternity leave from my job so I did a little baby sitting for my verbally adoptive sister. Her and my sister were best friends in high school and my mother just kind of took to her as her own daughter. I watched her baby girl while she worked during the day, It was definitely an experience that I needed. I didn’t think through the smelly diapers, the formula stains, the feedings, the crying, the extra luggage when leaving the house, etc. It was a 24/7 job and I was just baby sitting.
It made me recognize how important it was to be prepared to be a mother. When it’s all said and done though the experience of child birth can overcome all of the above. My Jazzy Pooh as I called her was my baby; I got so attached to her I had separation anxiety for a while when I stopped baby sitting her.
With baby sitting Jazzy Pooh and getting past the drama of being pregnant, I felt God sent my baby to me as a blessing. I finally had someone to love and someone to love me back. It would always be me and my baby girl against the world. I didn’t have a lot of friends, I kept to myself most of the time being insecure and self conscious so I wasn’t very active in school. The most I ever did was try out for cheer leading in junior high but I quit before final try outs. One of my classmates told me I had a good chance of making the squad and when I found out how much the uniforms and cheer leading camp was I quit. I knew my mom couldn’t afford it as a single mother and I knew it would hurt if I made the squad and then had to quit.
I had gotten myself prepared for my daughter’s arrival. I had overcome the public sneers, my mom’s silent treatment and I no longer cared where the father was. I was making sure my daughter had everything she needed when she made her entrance. I made a pact with myself that MY BABY GIRL; Chelsea Bryon Lyles would not want for anything.
You don’t want to miss chapter 3.
A BRAND NEW KIND OF ME