What About Me Ch 4

“SHE’S HEREEEEEE”  My baby girl has arrived.  I was drained, in pain and icky so I don’t remember being excited.  The delivery was horrible, I could only remember the pain and the Dr saying “don’t scream now, you weren’t screaming when you were making her”.  I wanted to kick him in the face but I couldn’t do much.  I did manage to mumble “you don’t know, you weren’t there”!

The next thing I know I heard the Dr and nurses mumbling, I heard cut and scissors and that was about all I could make out.  That darn man cut me, said I had to be cut so the baby could come out or she would have ripped me.  We don’t think that was true, she was only 7lbs & 03 ounces but back then who knows.

My mom was waiting to tell me some words too, I threw up on her when I was in labor(Lol), I told her it was pay back.  When I told her what the Dr said, she got upset all over again talking about I wish I had been there.  My sister was sitting up laughing at me mocking me.  She said I was in and out from the time they put me in the room.  She said all I would do is hold my head up, open my eyes and say “it ain’t no pick nick” and pass right back out over and over.(Lol)

We had a diaper bag packed for the baby with a few pieces of clothing.  However when I woke up they had that little ugly hospital hat and t shirt on my itty bitty tootsie roll colored baby.  The nurse had the nerve to tell me she was the darkest new born she had ever seen.  I almost took offense but I was ready to hold my baby.   The 1st time I held her I was scared and didn’t know what I was doing , she was so little.  She didn’t fuss though and when I tried to hold her again, it was like she already knew I had no clue.

My sister was in heaven, her and my mom were taking turns reminding each other of whom needed to be called.  I remember thinking too bad y’all didn’t act like this when I found out I was pregnant.  My daughter’s father wasn’t on the list, we weren’t trying to hide it from him but he no longer was a priority either.   He did hear that she had been born and at some point made his way to the hospital.   I don’t think he felt very welcomed though because he certainly didn’t stay long.  It really didn’t matter, my family was too busy loving on me and my daughter so I wasn’t concerned about much else.

We had a couple of visitors at the hospital but most people came to the house once we got home.  I didn’t really feel very sociable some days, heck I had just had my 1st child, had been cut in a very uncomfortable place and I couldn’t sleep.   I  was up watching my daughter making sure she was ok, making sure she didn’t get stuck between the bars on her crib or dying from crib death.  I didn’t even understand a lot of things then, I just knew I couldn’t let anything happen to my precious baby girl.

More to come in Ch 5

A BRAND NEW KIND OF ME